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K Elliott
Latest book: Street Fame. Published on February 26, 2012.
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M. A. Golla
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• Dark Faith on Jan. 23, 2011
  
  Note - I read slush for Apex; this is an Apex book. A collection of short stories related to faith. Some of them went for the cheap tricks, but here were some of my favorites: The Mad Eyes of the Heron King - Richard Dansky. All herons are the Heron King. Scrawl - Tom Piccirilli. About a humble writer of porn. Cracked me up. The Days of Flaming Motorcycles - Catherynne Valente. Borders on the edge of hipsterism but still shines. Sandboys - Richard Wright. Two boys made out of sand on the seashore. It's a good thing when you read a collection and go, "Not bad," after you finish a story. None of these were quite immortal, but definitely on the high side of very good.
  
• Walter's Bucket List on April 13, 2011
  
  Warning! Spoiler in next paragraph! This was a woman's version of the beginning of the movie Up, and I thought it was very sweet. The middle slowed me, like a series of pictures flying by, but the end more than made up for it.
  
• Blood on the Ice on April 27, 2011
  
  Hammie's parents make him wear a mouth guard when he plays hockey for the Fighting Aardvarks. Why wouldn't they? They're dentists. The Aardvarks are going nowhere, until a new player joins, and half the team is sucking down raw-meat smoothies. It's up to Hammie, an incompetent vampire hunter, a hot librarian, and pair of dental extractors to save the team...and the world. There is nothing like a good farce like this (think Hudson Hawk) to put a smile on your face :)
  
• Troubleshooters: The Longest Joke Ever Told on April 27, 2011
  
  With every obsession comes a price. Fortunately Mr. Whitecastle has the money. He hires assassin Angel, brain-modded hacker Haiwee, and monowheel-racing Camaro to help him recover one of three antique bottles...and destroy the other two. Selfish? Petty? Insane? They're not there to judge. They're just there to get paid. Fast-paced, alternately smart-aleck and deadly SF heist action.
  
• Pariah's Moon on April 27, 2011
  
  The fun thing about this book was the way you got to go directly from a high-fantasy world into the Old West, but fantasy style. The high-fantasy world is full of all the melodrama of medieval politics (especially sexual politics), and the shift from that to the Old West-world of, well, rape, murder, and swindling the folks Back Home is like jumping into a cold pool on a hot day. Yeah, those elves are lying, cheating SOBs, but at least they're relatively honest. A clever variation for the Weird West subgenre (which I love). Good characters, fast action, and lots of bloody revenge.
  
• Shattered - A Wizard's Work Book One on April 27, 2011
  
  Disclaimer: I know Mark. We met at a story-marketing workshop, and over the course of the workshop, he kept using his book as an example in his questions. By the time the workshop was over, I was sold. It's my reader candy...fantasy, intrigue, yeah. My kind of thing. What you have here is a high-fantasy novel that's not so much in the vein of Tolkein as it is in the vein of Stephen R. Donaldson's Mirror of Her Dreams/A Man Rides Through. Not as many plot twists (but lots of good red herrings), not as much blood (but there's a good one in there). A solid, put-your-feet-up, enjoyable fantasy book.
  
• How to Cook Husbands: A Creepy Story on June 29, 2011
  
  Hee hee hee hee! I don't want to spoil it :)
  
• Beyond Reach: Book 1 of the Beyond Saga on July 07, 2011
  
  Assassins, monkeys, and true love--oh my! Solid SF Adventure in a dark vein - almost, but not quite, romantic. An enjoyable diversion :)
  
• Mutable Things on Aug. 18, 2011
  
  Interesting premise, characters, lots of action (and sex). There is just nothing wrong with this book. If that was all it was, though, I probably would have blown it off. However, she gets into a lot of depth (but not preachiness) about the expectations that young women face. "Be what your lover wants you to be" isn't something that just empaths have to face. Philosophical meat to a catchy thriller. Very nice.
  
• The Magic Carpet on Oct. 16, 2011
  
  **** Recommended. I read it all the way through in one evening. About 140 pages. In short: Harry Potter meets the Arabian Nights. The main character is a girl, but boys play a strong role in this adventure as well. The story starts out with Ruby, whose mother wants her to grow up to be a normal person, despite the fact that she has an obviously magic purse and gets mail from her mother by having the wind blow it to her. But red-headed Ruby isn’t cut out for a normal life (some people aren’t), and when her mother forbids her from going up to the attic the same day that her grandmother tells her that her birthday present is up there…well, goodbye normal. I won’t be giving too much away if I say her birthday present strongly resembles the object in the title of the book. However, the first thing that Ruby does with said present, after being magically and wonderfully (and thirstily) transported to a mysterious country in the desert, is LOSE it. It’s not her fault–she had no idea that magic carpets were so picky–but it’s her job to get it back from the evil half-genie madman who stole it from her.
  
• Young Guns on Oct. 18, 2011
  
  A cop, a dad, or a superhero? The main character's daughter, who, if I remember correctly, is sixteen or seventeen, has the same superpowers as her father, but chooses to use them with the young guns. A nice story about reconciling the irreconcilable.
  
• Vermin on Oct. 18, 2011
  
  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Get it off get it OFF! This was a straightforward but spectacularly EWWW horror short story. A couple of exterminators have to clean up a house that's rumored to be haunted and discover more than they bargained for: it's either going to be a retread or it's going to be a classic, depending on the way it's pulled off, right? It's a classic. YUCK. I hate bugs.
  
• Vermin on Oct. 18, 2011
  
  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Get it off get it OFF! This was a straightforward but spectacularly EWWW horror short story. A couple of exterminators have to clean up a house that's rumored to be haunted and discover more than they bargained for: it's either going to be a retread or it's going to be a classic, depending on the way it's pulled off, right? It's a classic. YUCK. I hate bugs.
  
• Jack Dervish, Super Spy on Dec. 04, 2011
  
  In short: After Jack's superspy parents go missing, he hides in their secret lair for years...learning how to be the perfect spy. Now he has to face a terrible challenge: in order to find his parents, he has to to learn how to act like a normal kid. Jack Dervish's parents disappeared when he was four years old. He was smart enough to hide out in his parents' secret lair under the house, even after new people moved in upstairs. Living off his parents' savings and by using the Internet, Jack survived more or less alone. But on his twelfth birthday, Jack finally realizes that a) he cannot accept that his parents are dead and b) they aren't going to be able to come back on their own. He decides to go on a quest to rescue them; however, he has no idea where they could be, or what they were involved in when they left (well, he was four). He decides that the only way to search for his parents is to go into the outside world. And that means...pretending to be a normal kid. After eight years in his parents' secret hideout with nobody to talk to (except for a few people over the Internet), it won't be easy. Despite making a ton of mistakes (including deciding that "Rasputin" is a good name for a kid), Jack faces down bullies, fools the school into thinking he's from a foreign country, and makes a couple of friends that like him despite his really weird way of doing things. However, Isobel is one of the worst friends that he could have made; her father works for the Homeland Security Office...and is out to capture Jack and find the truth of where he really lives, and the source of all his gadgets. The thing is, Mr. Spencer knows something about Jack's parents...why else would he have a picture of them? I had a lot of fun reading this. Jack does not fit in, and that's what fifth grade was all about for me: being smart and not fitting in. If you enjoyed The Mysterious Benedict Society or the Artemis Fowl books, I highly recommend this book. I thought the beginning was a little silly--a four year old living on his own? Really?--but hey, why not? This looks like the start of a fun series. Lots of gadgets, traps, and sneaking about.
  
• Fright Files: The Broken Thing on Dec. 28, 2011
  
  In short: Stevie likes horror movies and books…but when he discovers a real haunted house and a real haunting, he chickens out and has to be dragged into finding out more by his best friend, Angie. What they discover is a threat to their lives and the ones they love. Stevie, a big horror movie and book fan, is also the victim of bullies in Nohope, Vermont. The bullies chase him into some woods that are supposed to be, if not haunted, then at least too creepy to be running around in. While there, Stevie finds a broken doll-thing that almost seems to move in his hand–the doll is later stolen by the bullies. Soon afterwards, Stevie’s mom gets into a car crash (she doesn’t die) trying to avoid a ghostly, broken-looking girl in the middle of the road…a girl who wants to get back something that was stolen. Stevie and his best friend Angie, another horror fan, find out that the ghost used to be a girl who lived at a house just past the creepy woods…a girl who supposedly murdered her whole family, then killed herself. Stevie’s teacher doesn’t believe in ghost stories (but likes local legends), yet recommends they talk to his dad, who has a different, even scarier opinion of the old house… Okay, admittedly, with Goosebumps, sometimes you just have to laugh. Some of the situations that people get into are just too funny, especially when compared with adult horror movies. The Broken Thing, however much it may go in the Goosebumbs category, provides a few more chills than that. What makes the thrills just slightly annoying is that there are so many cliffhangers that lead to fake-outs–it wasn’t the monster sneaking up on them, it was only his sister! kind of things. But that’s a minor quibble. The characters were fun, the action exciting, and the slow parts tinged with creepiness. A couple of silly moments…but sometimes you just have to have a little cheese with your screams.
  
• Fright Files: The Broken Thing on Dec. 28, 2011
  
  In short: Stevie likes horror movies and books…but when he discovers a real haunted house and a real haunting, he chickens out and has to be dragged into finding out more by his best friend, Angie. What they discover is a threat to their lives and the ones they love. Stevie, a big horror movie and book fan, is also the victim of bullies in Nohope, Vermont. The bullies chase him into some woods that are supposed to be, if not haunted, then at least too creepy to be running around in. While there, Stevie finds a broken doll-thing that almost seems to move in his hand–the doll is later stolen by the bullies. Soon afterwards, Stevie’s mom gets into a car crash (she doesn’t die) trying to avoid a ghostly, broken-looking girl in the middle of the road…a girl who wants to get back something that was stolen. Stevie and his best friend Angie, another horror fan, find out that the ghost used to be a girl who lived at a house just past the creepy woods…a girl who supposedly murdered her whole family, then killed herself. Stevie’s teacher doesn’t believe in ghost stories (but likes local legends), yet recommends they talk to his dad, who has a different, even scarier opinion of the old house… Okay, admittedly, with Goosebumps, sometimes you just have to laugh. Some of the situations that people get into are just too funny, especially when compared with adult horror movies. The Broken Thing, however much it may go in the Goosebumbs category, provides a few more chills than that. What makes the thrills just slightly annoying is that there are so many cliffhangers that lead to fake-outs–it wasn’t the monster sneaking up on them, it was only his sister! kind of things. But that’s a minor quibble. The characters were fun, the action exciting, and the slow parts tinged with creepiness. A couple of silly moments…but sometimes you just have to have a little cheese with your screams.
  
• Thunderbird on Jan. 20, 2012
  
  In short: Twins Janine and Justin are stuck at their father’s dinosaur-digging camp for the summer. While most kids would be thrilled, they’ve seen it all before. However, when Janine is called to find a mysterious egg for a mythological creature (the thunderbird), they’re both drawn on a quest through the regular world and the spirit world in order to save the creature from dying. When I read like a kid (I’m actually a grown up, despite what my daughter might say), I think differently than I do as an adult. Some kids’ books you can read as an adult (like Harry Potter), but some kids’ books you have to read like a kid (like Goosebumps). This book is a book you should really read as a kid, and that’s a good thing. When twins Janine and Justin take off without their father knowing where they’re going to follow a magical quest, my adult brain wanted to go, “No! Bad bad! Kids shouldn’t take off without their parents!” but it’s a book. So I turned off that part of my brain and just enjoyed the book for what it is, which is an adventure story. You know, a story in which people do stuff that they wouldn’t normally do, which, you know, most kids can figure out that they shouldn’t take off on magical quests without at least leaving their parents a note first. One thing my adult brain really got into–Justin and Janine end up making part of their lengthy journey through the spirit world. As an adult, I’ve read a lot of stuff about traveling through various spirit worlds that just leaves me bored, but the adult side of me found the spirit world described here just as interesting as my kid brain did. I really enjoyed the fact that it changes depending on who your guide is? Loved it. Fast action, not a lot of blah blah blah, good characters, interesting plot and locations: this book receives my kid-brain seal of approval.
  
• The Other Side of Hell on Jan. 25, 2012
  
  This is a memoir about a guy who is so wound up in the way his wife leaves him that he does a lot of stupid things. At least, that's the way it starts out: he ignores his daughter, starts doing drugs, lets a ton of druggies in his house, gets in trouble with drug dealers, goes to jail, and starts acting like a real tough guy in order to defend his...something. Manliness? The first chapters are very well described, very candidly, and (better yet) with an honesty that goes beyond blame. He describes each step he takes to dig himself deeper and deeper into an animalistic, inhuman life of enjoying scaring the crap out of other people, pre-emptively. Fortunately, his cellie, Ray, gives him some tips on how to dig himself back up, and the author realizes that down is just not the place to be. It isn't an overnight salvation; this isn't the kind of change you could sum up as a movie montage. As the author slowly pulls himself out of a world of violence and pain, he realizes that he's created that world; he created his suffering; he abandoned and hurt the people he loved the most, because he couldn't get over himself. It's a long road for a non-epic-fantasy-length book, but it manages to get most of it in there. My only disappointment was that the ending seemed abrupt--he seems almost to skim over the last couple of insights he has before he gets out of prison, and they seemed pretty important. Otherwise, a good thinker of a read, even if you haven't been to prison :) How we create the situations around us, and how to stop blaming the world instead of ourselves.