Mister Average


Mister Average is a pen name of one of the most prolific writers of erotic short stories.
Most of my stories have a message, or a question. Yes, they are naughty, but they often also present a dilemma. Most contain some love and romance, most of them reflect what we are like in our average lives.
The characters are generally normal, average, people - like me and you in realistic situations, in realistic fantasies.
I write about the kinds of things you fantasize about.

If you follow me on Twitter you will find out about free days and discount coupons that I send out from time to time and you will see every new release.


Smashwords Interview

When did you first start writing?
I have been writing all my life and was a prolific writer at school often churning out 30,000+ word epics in my English Lit. classes. My teacher encouraged me to think outside the box - any form of abuse of language was ok as long as the story made sense and my arguments added up.
I started writing in the modern era when I heard about Smashwords and ebook publishing.
What motivated you to become an indie author?
It is the first time in human history that we, the great unwashed, can reach out to the public with our thoughts and ideas. That is a unique moment in time and it may not last long. Who knows what the future might bring? Having my say now motivates me.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Mister Average online


Women Who Fuck Their Men
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,180. Language: English. Published: January 12, 2015. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
A surprisingly large number of women find the act of screwing their man anally to be of interest, it even has its own label - it is referred to as pegging. If you have ever had any curiosity about this forbidden practice join Mister Average as he shares three short stories about couples who have enjoyed this very private act.
Best Anal Sex Stories 2
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 25,360. Language: English. Published: January 7, 2015. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Erotica Anthologies
The master of the erotic short story, Mister Average, brings together more of his favourite anal sex stories for you in one edition. These are not just any old stories, these are classics that bring you intrigue and mystery of the human mind and wrap the forbidden nature of anal sex in stories of average people's lives. These are stories that bring to life your forbidden, dirty, anal fantasies.
Wife Swapping Stories
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 25,210. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2015. Category: Fiction » Anthologies » Erotica Anthologies
To celebrate a new year Mister Average puts together some of his most provocative wife swapping/ swinging stories for your enjoyment. These are real fantasies like those you might have enjoyed in your quiet moments when you are alone and dirty. Why don't you join him, why don't you come with him on a sensual journey that will inspire you.
Outrageous Sex Stories
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 40,160. Language: English. Published: December 19, 2014. Category: Fiction » Anthologies » Erotica Anthologies
Mister Average brings you a hot collection of eight of his most outrageous and forbidden erotica short stories. You will be left shaking your head at the antics of some of the characters but these are all average people - like me and you.
Wife Swapping and Swinging
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 23,170. Language: English. Published: December 12, 2014. Category: Fiction » Anthologies » Erotica Anthologies
Mister Average, one of the world's most prolific erotica authors, brings you four of his favourite wife swapping/ swinging stories. These are average people, like you, immersing themselves in swinging situations. Would you do this? Have you fantasised about wife swapping? Have you imagined what it would feel like, how you would react? Join Mister Average in his bed...
My Breeding Stories
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 32,000. Language: English. Published: December 8, 2014. Category: Fiction » Anthologies » Erotica Anthologies
Mister Average brings you his finest breeding stories in this entertaining collection. Controversial and thought provoking, as he always is, he delivers five exceptional stories that will leave you thinking. Don't miss this chance to soak up some of the finest story telling you will encounter from the master of the short story.
Best Anal Sex Stories
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 18,950. Language: English. Published: December 6, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Erotica Anthologies
The master of the erotic short story, Mister Average, brings together his favourite anal sex stories for you in one edition. These are not just any old stories, these are classics that bring you intrigue and mystery of the human mind and wrap the forbidden nature of anal sex in stories of average people's lives. These are stories that bring to life your forbidden, dirty, anal fantasies.
My Fucking Best Erotica
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 27,440. Language: English. Published: October 7, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Erotica Anthologies
In this collection of fast paced and unique erotica, Mister Average brings you six exciting tales of titillation to get you through the night. From the outrageously funny, The Girl Who Farted During Sex, to the outstandingly dark work, The Sex Auction, each piece tells its unique tale in a different way. Take a taste of Mister Average with these six exciting pieces, you will be back for more.
Real Wife Swap V
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 8,830. Language: English. Published: August 9, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
In the Real Wife Swap, we introduced you to two couples who decided to wife swap. That was three years ago - now the conclusion to the story as Max and Peta return in love and conspire to hide their secret. Fate assists them for a few months, but then things go horribly wrong and end in the most bitter of tragedies. Don't miss this gripping conclusion to the original Real Wife Swap.
Real Wife Swap IV
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 8,390. Language: English. Published: August 4, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
They were an average married couple, but when he suggested they wife swap with another couple she slapped him and stormed off. It wasn't until later in the week, when she was talking to him again, that she revealed the real reasons behind her outrage and put forward her own suggestion. Of course, being a man, Erik accepted it and they spent a weekend they would never forget.
Nudist Beach Stories
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,590. Language: English. Published: July 9, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
You are married, middle aged and bored with your sex life. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Ever wondered if you could release your Inner Slut if Fate stepped in and provided the right circumstances? Here is Steve's story, where a chance remark led him and his wife, and another couple, to a nudist beach one day - and where the results were a lot different than any of them expected.
Real Wife Swap III
Series: Real Wife Swap, Book 3. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,210. Language: English. Published: July 7, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Lesbian Erotica
They were average married husbands and over a few beers they had a reckless bet that one of them could convince the other's wife to swap. But their little scheme was overheard and at a dinner party a few days later the boys received a shock when the two wives did indeed agree to swap - with each other!
Masturbation Island
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 20,930. Language: English. Published: June 29, 2014. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » Contemporary
Somewhere out in the middle of the ocean, under a warm and tropical sun, exists the most amazing island in history. It is an island dedicated to masturbation, an act that human society shuns - an act that sits in many of our minds as our secret little fantasy. You can only get there in a very special way - you have to look into the mirror and see your true self, and then you can step inside.
World’s Biggest Wanker ~ Masturbation Confessions
Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 87,350. Language: English. Published: June 14, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Erotica Anthologies
During a discussion about my writing the other day someone pointed out that I have published a lot of erotica about masturbation across my many pen names. I looked and yes, I have well over a hundred publications with masturbation as the primary theme. That made me blush a little. You might say that I am the literary world's biggest wanker, so to celebrate here are 43 of my masturbation stories.
Cuckold Stories II
Series: Cuckold Stories, Book 2. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,080. Language: English. Published: June 9, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
From the master of cuckold erotica comes this twisted tale between the husband and his cheating wife. Her infidelity confession causes pain, heartbreak and threatens their marriage. But it also reveals elements to him that she never knew about, she never knew existed. The confusion, the anguish, the mental torment that exists in this troublesome fetish is explored in its finest by the author.
Real Wife Swap II
Series: Real Wife Swap, Book 2. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,730. Language: English. Published: June 3, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
They were average married husbands and over a few beers they decided they wanted to swap wives. The problem was they knew the wives wouldn't be interested at all. At a weekend away they hatched their plan and were ready to pounce. But when they returned to their hotel room they were in for the shock of their lives. Could Jeff turn it to their advantage?
The Wanker’s Guide to Masturbation
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 13,460. Language: English. Published: May 25, 2014. Category: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor and satire
From one of the most prolific erotica authors comes the funniest book on wanking you will ever read. It has all the answers to questions you never thought to ask - Is God a wanker? Was Eve made to be the first bit of porn? Is wanking cheating? Wanking facts, songs, literature, who does it and why? Mutual masturbation, wanking jokes and, of course, the origins of wanking. But wait...there is more!
Older Men, Younger Women – The Dice II
Series: Older men, Younger women., Book 5. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,500. Language: English. Published: May 20, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal
This is part II of the Dice ~ with the characters still at the pub, but a sudden storm blows in and changes the mood of the night as Brian is knocked to the ground by lightning blasts nearby. When he recovers he is holding the dice in one hand, and his mobile phone in the other - with a rotating glowing dice on its screen. A bizarre game then follows, each of them revealing their sexual fantasies.
Cuckold Stories
Series: Cuckold Stories, Book 1. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 8,550. Language: English. Published: May 15, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
The cuckold - a man whose wife has sex with other men, or a man who has fantasies about his wife having sex with other men. Here is a story told to me that shows how a partner can mistaken the cuckolding sentiment for something else, and hurt their partner when they move from pleasure to humiliation against the man's will. There is a very fine line that, when crossed, can cause pain.
Masturbation Confessions 3
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,670. Language: English. Published: May 9, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
Frowned upon by society, forbidden, dirty and oh, so enjoyable - masturbation, the sexual activity that we all engage in, but so rarely admit to. Here are some confessions as told to me, by readers. Real masturbation confessions from real people, just like you, and me. Why don't you sit back, get loose and enjoy!
The Devil Wins - My Naughtiest Erotica
Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 61,650. Language: English. Published: May 7, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Erotica Anthologies
When it comes to sexual temptation we often have two choices - we can listen to the angel on our shoulder and be good when confronted with temptation, or we can let the Devil win. Most of these short stories involve that choice, and the Devil does win. Mister Average has published over 150 erotica titles - this collection includes some of his favourites. Why don't you join him on this journey?
GILF 3 [Granny I would like to f**k]
Series: Gilf [granny I would like to f**k], Book 3. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 5,880. Language: English. Published: May 5, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary
You all know what a MILF is; it's a “mother that you would like to f**k". It's not a surprise then that a GILF is a “granny you would like to f**k.” Many men fantasise about this sort of kinky behaviour, as do I. This is the story of one of those fantasies, with a Korean woman in her 60's, a woman with whom I never exchanged a single word. Imagine what it would be like...
GILF 2 [Granny I would like to f**k]
Series: Gilf [granny I would like to f**k], Book 2. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,910. Language: English. Published: March 22, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary
You know what a MILF is; it's a “mother that you would like to f**k". It's not a surprise then that a GILF is a “granny you would like to f**k.” Some men fantasise about this sort of kinky behaviour, as do I. This is the story of one of those fantasies, with a woman 40 years older than I was. Imagine what it would be like...
Revenge Sex I
Series: Revenge Sex, Book 1. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 8,330. Language: English. Published: February 28, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Women's Erotica
Marriage is tough, relationships are tough and sometimes we have to adjust the balance back to even by doing what we can justify but which others might frown upon. This series features the stories of unhappy married women who plot their own course to recover their composure. Rachel is devastated that her staid, boring husband has cheated on her - so she seeks out a friend to win back control.
Verbotener Sex Mit Meiner Schwägerin
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 5,580. Language: English. Published: September 27, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
Eines der verbotensten sexuellen Tabus ist Sex mit der Schwester der eigenen Ehefrau. Es ist etwas, wovon die meisten Männer in manchen Phasen träumen.Viele Verboten, aber oftmals verlockend. Nur manchmal verlassen wir diese Fantasiewelt und haben die Gelegenheit, diese Fantasien auszuleben. Auch mir passierte dies einmal, sehr unerwartet.
How Do You Spell Cunt?
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 10,760. Language: English. Published: August 30, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary
Ever wondered what it would be like being an erotica writer? I am Mister Average - I'm not rich or famous, but I do make my living writing erotica for you. Join me for one day as I take you through my life as an erotica author, letting you in on my secret life as I work on my latest ebook. I hope what I get up to as I research my work doesn't shock you too much. Contains explicit adult content.
My Erotica – Out to Dry
Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 44,440. Language: English. Published: August 28, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary
A collection of nine of my erotica short stories in one volume for your enjoyment. Covering a range of subjects from futuristic situations to cuckoldry, from outrageous sexual humour to sex in fantasy worlds.Some stories will make you laugh until you wet yourself, others will make you cry, or shake your head in disgust. This is a broad sample of my works, on special for you. I hope you enjoy them.
Older Men, Younger Women – The Bus
Series: Older men, Younger women., Book 4. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,510. Language: English. Published: August 27, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
Brian had met the young Joanne the night before and engaged in an evening of torrid public sex with her. When, over a morning coffee, his wife had confessed to setting it all up, Brian was stunned, and yet this was only a taste of what was to come the rest of the day for him as his wife created more scenarios of outrageous public sex. This wild trio engage in acts we would only fantasise about.
Older Men, Younger Women – The Dice.
Series: Older men, Younger women., Book 3. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,570. Language: English. Published: August 2, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
For many months Brian's sex life had been awakened after his wife had encouraged a young woman to have sex with her husband, and had encouraged a series of more outrageous public sex acts. Now she had a new game for them, a game involving dice. Brian and Joanne returned to the pub in Chelsea where they originally met, and gave the local patrons another exciting night of sexual depravity.
Older men, Younger women – Sex Teacher
Series: Older men, Younger women., Book 2. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,040. Language: English. Published: July 27, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary
Imagine - its your first day on the new job and a young woman approaches you, and over the course of a few drinks after work whispers that she wants you to be her Sex Teacher. She is a generation younger than you, but how can you resist? Would you resist? Most men would not. This is a fast paced erotica short story where the young woman is the instigator, and gets the wild experience she craves.
Older men, Younger women – The Phone.
Series: Older men, Younger women., Book 1. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 8,060. Language: English. Published: July 19, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Menage/Multiple Partners
Married for 25 years, Brian feels washed up and resigned, surfing the chat rooms of the Internet as an outlet for his desires and a substitute for his lost youth. A chance meeting in a virtual bar turns into a real life sexual adventure with a thrill-seeking young woman. She wants to drag him even further into her wanton web, but was the meeting pure chance and will it bring down his marriage?
The Wife Swap
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,040. Language: English. Published: July 11, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
Phil looked at his wife of many years as she spoke. “Darling,we are both fifty years old,sometimes I wonder what we are doing with our lives.We don't seem to do much that is exciting,we don't do wild things.” Minutes later when she suggested they wife swap for the weekend with another couple Phil realised he had been set up, clearly she was already having an affair. But,he went along with it.
An Inadequate Husband and the Twenty Year Old
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 7,120. Language: English. Published: July 9, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Menage/Multiple Partners
They were discussing a movie she had seen the night before, about a 50 yr old man and a 20 yr old women, when his wife laughed at Paul,and ridiculed him. "If you want to know about it, why don't you go out and fuck a twenty year old, if there is any young woman who wants an old man like you.” Paul ignored her attitude towards him but took it as a challenge. That evening he embarked on his revenge.
Masturbating Author
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,720. Language: English. Published: July 6, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Menage/Multiple Partners
Vince sat down to write his latest story; he started dispassionately banging away on the keyboard of his laptop, describing the setting for his hero in his latest book. And then, unusually, he froze. He didn't know what to say next and this had never occurred to him before. After hours agonising over his plight he finally resolved what he needed - and that was visual stimulation!
1984 Erotica
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,030. Language: English. Published: July 2, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Historical
It is 1984,when life was carefree and fun and the best club in town was the Orwellian sounding Sex is Love. Two of these short stories feature Max and his antics with the ladies, the final story shows a totally different part of life, and yet the basic sexual needs still provide the same end result. A look back in time when the music was better in one of the most carefree eras in human history.
The Inadequate Husband and the G Spot
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,150. Language: English. Published: June 29, 2013. Category: Fiction » Romance » Erotic
It started with a simple TV show, about the controversial G-Spot and squirting. Then after stating he had never felt a woman squirting his wife confessed to having squirted - with other men! Simon was stunned, shattered but his wife had the habit of doing that to him. The next day Simon accidentally came across a webcam site and suddenly his world changed - there were women who wanted him!
Die Berliner Sexshop Episode
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 4,390. Language: German. Published: June 22, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
Einer der Vorteile des Reisens ist, dass man anonym ist und Dinge tun kann, die man zuhause nie tun würde. Bei einem Besuch in Berlin waren wir mutig und entschlossen uns, in einen Sexshop zu gehen. Es war so geil. Wir alle träumen von ungezügelten sexuellen Begegnungen mit Fremden. Lies was passiert, wenn so etwas im realen Leben eintritt.
Public Sex Stories
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 13,730. Language: English. Published: June 20, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary
Most of us, at some stage, fantasise about having sex outdoors, or in front of other people.This volume takes us through 4 real adventures of a young man in the eighties.The music, the clothing, the styles all reflect one of the craziest, and most stylish eras in modern culture. Erik lives through his changing sexual experiences, and changing life, over a period of 4 years in this fast paced work.
Das Mädchen, Das Beim Sex Furzte
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 2,480. Language: German. Published: June 14, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
Ein Rezensent schrieb.. OMG! Das war der allerbeste Lacher, den ich je hatte! Ich hab gelacht, bis mir die Tränen kamen! Armer Kerl... aber OMG... das arme Mädchen! Ich wär vor Scham gestorben in diesem Bett!!! Ich wär gegangen und nie wieder gekommen! Sie sollte definitiv irgend etwas vor und nach dem Essen einnehmen! Vielen vielen Dank für den besten Lacher meines Lebens!
Der GhostWriter
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 5,230. Language: German. Published: June 11, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Couples Erotica
Sie war einige Jahre sein Ghostwriter gewesen, hatte Erotica geschrieben. Er hatte ihr die Ideen vorgegeben,sie hatte die Zwischenräume ausgfüllt-es funktionierte gut. Aber inzwischen war sie geschieden,und ihr Schreiben stagnierte. Als Erik sie durchs Telefon beschimpfte,weil sie wieder einmal nicht liefern konnte,hatte sie eine Idee-und 30 Minuten später trafen sie sich in einem Hotelzimmer.
An Open Letter to the US President – Why are you Stealing my Money?
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,660. Language: English. Published: April 24, 2013. Category: Essay » Political
I am an erotica author.Every month when I am paid for my global sales by US companies I have withholding tax taken out by US tax authorities. But much of the tax they are taking from me is really for sales that I, a non US citizen, have made to readers in Australia, or Sweden or one of another hundred countries. I am sick of US government stealing my money, thus my open letter to the US President!
Pervert Priest
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 5,400. Language: English. Published: November 30, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Men's Erotica
Father Paul was just your average sort of priest - when the women threw themselves at him, he made himself available for their pleasure, and his. He also had some other naughty little habits which most people didn't know about and that included dressing up, as a woman. Join us as Paul engages in a little encounter with the daughter of one of his flock, and then frolics at a cross-dresser's club.
Mister Average’s Best Erotica of 2012
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 38,880. Language: English. Published: November 22, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Erotica Anthologies
For the past two years,I have been one of the most prolific erotica authors publishing over 300 short stories for your pleasure. To say thank you for your patronage I have put together a special end of year edition. This world class and unique erotica collection contains eight stories covering a wide range of erotica subject matter to arouse, inspire and question. The perfect gift for a lover.
Sexy Christmas Stories 2012
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 9,230. Language: English. Published: November 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » General
Christmas - that wonderful time of year when we let our guard down, do things we shouldn't and get a bit frisky. We share five lovely little short stories of Christmas sexual adventures with you to warm you over the festive season - or maybe to inspire you to your own Christmas naughtiness. Merry Christmas, from Mister Average.
Work Sexual Fantasies
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,040. Language: English. Published: November 20, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Women's Erotica
Apparently,85% of us admit to having sexual fantasies of our colleagues at work. Which means you are all quite naughty, doesn't it? Are you at work at the moment, are you fantasising about your colleagues now? This is a collection of four short stories involving fantasies in the workplace, fantasies about having sex with those you work with. Imagine... these may be the thoughts others have of you!
Female Masturbation Confessions - Kylie
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,180. Language: English. Published: November 8, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Women's Erotica
Kylie was in another city for the night, the curtains of the hotel room window pulled back. Excited from the concert she had attended, aroused by the hotel room treat, liberated by some good Californian wine, she began to entertain herself, manually. And then she noticed the figure across the road.
Sex With Vegetables
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 9,400. Language: English. Published: November 6, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Women's Erotica
Five revealing stories of a forbidden and kinky act - having sex with vegetables. Naughty, outrageous, and yet something so many do, in private and in secret. Join us as voyeurs into the secret world of these men and women as they indulge in sex with vegetables.
Masturbation Confessions II
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 5,270. Language: English. Published: November 3, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Women's Erotica
Sharing your most intimate moments is never easy, here we have five masturbation confessions, for you. The mirror - a woman enjoying herself in front of her mirror. Mandy - alone at night in her bathtub. Alahna - her first cyber event has a surprising end. Neighbour - Mrs Clarke surprises the man next door, and shares. Shower - a secret private moment in the shower, for you.
Wife's Best Friend
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 6,200. Language: English. Published: November 2, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Menage/Multiple Partners
There are some incidents that you just never forget, regardless of how long you live. Last summer one of those moments occurred - it was something beyond my wildest fantasies. My wife and her new girlfriend decided we should go to the local nude beach. I imagined what might happen, I was wrong, I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised.
Granny Fantasies - Marilyn
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 5,180. Language: English. Published: October 31, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Men's Erotica
Marilyn was what you would call a GILF. In fact, she was so hot most guys would probably want her regardless of whether she was a granny or not, she was not bad for an old duck. Brad had often fantasised about having a GILF, now when he was looking after his parents home for a few months his fantasies would come true - thanks to their neighbour, Marilyn, who was taking a fancy to him.
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